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Teenage Scar

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I wish it didn't end.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Yesterday was a blast. I never expected to have a lot of fun with him. Yes, with him.

I haven't done this for a long time and I never thought It would just turned out fine. Walking thru that street and while the wind was rushing through my skin and I can't help but to think, is this really happening? Making voice over to the couples who are talking to each other just turned out enjoy and I can't help but to smile more when I see ourselves laughing together, Shit I haven't done this for a long long long time and yes I missed it.

Even I got shocked that Im actually with him the whole day though it really turned out great. Started with little conversations and laughs that turned me to red to me having these questions running inside my mind. Thoughts from his face that I cant understand whe I asked him and to those feelings that we can't show. We dont know what exactly we are doing but we like everything that happened. Everything bounds to happen for a reason and for that case, we don't know what's the reason for it.

We know from the start that it's wrong and it's unfair but we just can't stop it. Its like a drug that you know it's bad and it's killing you but still you crave for it no matter what happens or whatever consequence that might happen. That's how I feel, does he? I can't stop looking at those eyes that makes me lost in space. I can't stop but smile whenever our hands touched each other. I can't help but to think that I hope we're in the right time to do this but at the end of my thought, it's going down to a simple and one truth. It just can't be us.

Yes, it's a sad truth for me but Im in a situation that I dont have any choice but to feel the pain inside and to be hurt all by myself. I never asked for this but it came and now i want it to end. To end in a way that I'll still have him but I know it's waaaaaaaaaaaay impossible to happen. Selfish it is but I can't blame myself. I never feflt this feeling again until now. It was a long time since someone touched me like this and just looked at me perfectly, fix my bangs that's covering my face and even loved the way I smile. It was a long time since someone told me how he can't resist my smile.

For a minute there I lost myself.

I wish I could be with you right now.

I never meant for any of this to end, but then again I never meant for any of this to begin with. That's just how it is with life, the most beautiful days come completely by chance.

but for now, I'll let it happen.