I wanna run from this.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I've eaten lots and lots of chocolate for the past 4 hours and i hate it. There's toblerone, Hersheys, Butterfinger, Maltesers and 1 16onz of Oreo Blizzard from my mom (She was about to give it to me last night but i went home at around 11 where she's sleeping already). While eating those sweets that really makes my weight gain, I'm watching CSI:Miami but my mind is not really focused on it. I'm really really having these mood swings lately and I'm sad. So sad that I dont want to get up in my bed.
I was lying for the past 4 hours of my life thinking about those things that's really making me sad, confused and missing someone. I dont get it, can i just be happy for a while? I thought I'll be ending up this week so happy because it started really nice because of him. Yeah, my week became so colorful because he was around, cheering me up from my problems but now he's the one making me frown.
First thing that really makes me sad is my situation with my dad. We had a fight yesterday that's why I didn't attend my morning classes because I was crying the whole morning. It first happened last monday when we had this fight in the car, he thought i lost the remote control of the radio but I didn't even touched it since i entered his car then a lot of things had brought up when we we're arguing. He said a lot of words that really hurt me and made me not to talk to him for the whole week till friday came. He was about to drop me @ Robinsons when I said to him that I'll maybe occupying a condo unit @ EGI Towers with Cara (because im so tried riding those crowded bus and sometimes i dont even get the chance to sit down). and He told me "I dont care." and that's it, who wouldn't be pissed off if you're father will answer back like that? I think everyone will be pissed off, we argued again and because Im so pissed, i didn't prevent myself from shouting at him and i really didn't mean it. My world became black and I passed out from my bed. I was crying, like how I cry when I was 5 years old. I turned purple, my yaya said and she's freaking out. My dad was just staring at me and before I knew it, I was late for my class.
I changed my clothes, fixed myself and called a cab. Taxi is really expensive, I'll promise to take the bus even if im sooooooooo depressed. I wasted 400pesos just for a cab, good thing my mom paid me back. You can still avail 4 stickers @ starbucks if you have it! haha. Anyways, when i reached SDA there were lots of students waiting for the elevators (I dont get it, there are 5 elevators and still the line is soooooo long. They're saving electricity and they're being such a pain in the ass) So, i took the stairs. Yes, from ground floor up to 9th floor. The last time i did it, i end up in the clinic but good thing yesterday I've survived. I entered the classroom, still catching my breath, and before i knew it, my friends we're wearing same red pants! HAHA. Cute, good thing I'm wearing colored pants also, i was not left out but I stand out! haha. Then during my Algeb Class, my mom texted me that my dad was bursting in tears when he called her. I couldn't helped but cry when I was reading my mom's text message to me, my algeb teacher saw me crying and asked me why then I just said "Hirap po ng math.." oh well that's bullshit. Then the most part that really made me feel sad while crying that moment, is that some of my friends still got the chance to laugh and acted like they didn't care. But that's over, I understand it.
then after class, they fixed they're Schedule and I was just goofing around. I wasn't able to enlist so I'll be encoding late and I know it sucks because there were lots of Closed subjects and I dont want to have morning classes because I'm not a morning person. I dont want to fail a subject becuase of my attendance. GEESH!
We chilled @ Starbucks, played Dota and before I knew it, it was past 10 already. I need to go home though I dont want to go home. I feel more happy when Im in taft not here at our house. I'm not even going outside of my room because I just dont feel it. Snap is my new comfort zone. I just dont feel going home last night. I met a new friend, he's Mark and he's having this effeminate trait so I feel so lucky because he lives a street away from our house I met him last night and good thing I have someone to be with when im going home. HAHA!
So we went home together and shared lot's of stuffs even if we just met that night! haha. Enjoy eh, I've never had a gay friend. EHEM. Yeah, he's pure and I love it! :))
I slept at around 3am and someone's still occupying my mind. He makes me feel confused, as in. You've stolen a kiss from me and you made my heart skip a beat that time. What does a kiss means to you? Why did you held my hands last night? I dont know if this is right. You're clouding up my mind. Please, stop it. I wanna be free from this. I wanna run away from this.
.. Let me rest for a while. Think about things which are clouding up my mind.
"Sweet temptations die for a good time, and you wonder why.
Swinging yourself on by in my mind, I wish that i could see how you are now."
And it's a sad life, watching everybody live it wrong. It's so pathetic on why hell it has to be the way we are .But you don't need this, everyone is telling you something else. It's so confusing, you never know what's right or wrong, but I'm right - not wrong. - Five Times August :*