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Teenage Scar

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Boring/Weird Day
Saturday, August 2, 2008

I dont know why but this past days i always woke up at around 3:00 am then I'll sleep again then I'll woke up at around 8:00 am. Weird? I dont know. I hope this is not like the Exorcism of Emily Rose where she always woke up at around 3:00am and that hour is the demonic hour because Jesus Christ died 3:00pm so its the other way around. Hmm, Anyways. I got weird with it and all that I do is to go to the bathroom just to pee. haha.

Anyways, how's my day? YAH. It's boring. Just went to the mall to buy pirated CD's. BAD BAD. Pero suki na ako eh! haha. Let's be realistic. (: I bought, Sex in the City Movie, 21, Meet Dave and this Kiss. I only watched Sex in the City because my Dad borrowed Meet Dave then the 21 is broken, ayaw basahin ng DVD player ko! (Ayan, Pirated kasi) haha and the This Kiss is kinda 'weird. It's not like a movie but its kinda like a documentation. hehe. Kaya when i saw it i went HUH?! anu toh?! hahaha.

when i was watching the movie. I never kept thinking of us, what really happened to us. There are some parts that really reminds me of us and I cant accept the fact that I miss him so much and I don’t know how is he dealing with it. Sometimes, I want to stop because I don’t know if he’s getting irritated from what I am acting but hey, It’s not my fault why I’m like this but im not blaming him all I want is just to bear with me for some time. There was this part where Carrie is pouting her mouth because there is something wrong and Mr. Big said "that's what Im avoiding to happen" that strucked me and reminded of him because he doesn't want me to see having those look also. Basta, there are lots of things that reminded us. Gaaaah, I cried where in the part where Mr. Big left Carrie on the day of their wedding. Haaaay, but the good thing about them is they had each other again. Watch it guys, It's perfect for me? I guess. The only thing that me and Carrie differ is She's stronger than me. Super Stronger than me.

Yay, I still have project for NATSCA gaaah, Im not done yet and its due on monday. I dont know, Im not really in the mood going to school lately. Im not like before that im so excited to go to school. I shout "hindi pwedeng walang pasok!!" when there's a possibility that there will be no classes. Im not inspired and I know why. My life was Colorful before, i can see stars around me when im happy. I believe in rainbows, in fairytales, wishes and more but know. My life is Dull. No Contrast. I dont believe in Love. Forever is just a word that makes everybody crazy and for me its literally JUST a word. I'll never believe in those cheesy words again. Unless? Something good will happen. You know the feeling when its the end of everything that you loved? GAH. It hurts even more. He's the one who fixed but teared my heart into pieces again.

YAH. Im still hurt. The pain is still here. YAH. I miss you. I miss you to death.