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Teenage Scar

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The week just ended.
Friday, November 7, 2008

How is it? Hmmmmmmm, let me see. So far so Quiet? :))

haha. Nothing special happened this week. It's the same old banana pie but it's much Quiet this time. No more issues, I guess but still there's something wrong. Nevermind. That's life, you cant blame people to be selfish, plastic and irritating.

blah. blah. blah.

On the lighter note, I have the second book of "the it girl" by Von Ziegesar. She's the one who wrote the Gossip Girl novel also. Oooooh, she's one of my favorite author aside from Stephenie Mayer and Candace Bushnell. Anyways, back to the IT GIRL, i just love how the story goes. It's about Jenny Humphrey who went to boarding school at Waverly Academy during her Sophomore year. It's like a version of Gossip Girl but it's more thrilling. Gah, I stay up late just to read this book. Im very attached to it but still Twilight captured my heart and I'm so excited for tthe Movie, it will be on November 26, 2008 and me, cara and Joanna are planning to cut classes just to have the best seat in the movie house! Oh yes, it's friday and it's cutting day. haha! Geeeesh, Im having this traditional look again and Im being so excited here again.

anyways, how's life you might ask?
Well, it's complicated. Swear and I dont know why. Am i making my life complicated? Or am I just thinking so much about so many things that makes me feel stressed out? gah. Im so tired of this. So tired that I want to shoot myself and lie into my comfort zone, it's not my bed but it;s my coffin. To Emo? Ewwww. This is not me, this is over reacting.

So much for the drama, let's get real.
Yeah, for the past days Im so confused. Confused about what's happening to me. First things first, Im not really motivated in school right now. I just want to end this term without repeating any subjects and that's it. Im not even trying to get high grades and Im so not into my subjects right now. I mean, i go to class, take notes and listen but my heart and mind is not fully focused to it. I dont have any boyfriend that can distruct my studies. Flings? Mutual Understanding? Yah, but it really doesn't bother or distruct me. Geeesh. I dont know, I'm just lazy about going to school and get high grades though when I get a high grades I will be able to get a lot of things. First, my dream. Iphone2. Next, Nike Dunk and next trip to Boracay this Christmas Vacation but how will i get those things if im like these? Geeeeeeeesh, everything changed since 2nd term came. It sucks that even people change.

Next one, it's about them. What's with them? Why right now? before, I really want you guys back and now you here there's still a problem. You guys went back at the same time and I dont get it. I dont know who will i choose. I like you, I love you or what so ever still I'm confused. I wanna be free from this. This is not the ini-mini-myni-moo thingie that i can point someone out with my eyes closed. This is not a type of decision that you can erase when suddenly things get wrong. This is a decision where you can live with it forever. This decision is Serious so i should think about it sooooooooooo much because it can affect me, my life and my heart.

How is it that I love you and I like him? How is it that this time, I cant choose. I wanna love you, and I want to stay with you but there's still someone who makes me smile. For the past 5 days of my life I came to the point of giving up. Like, choosing no one between them but I said to myself it's not fair. It's like Im running away again and I promised to myself not to ran away from my problems. So here it goes.

but wait, is history repeating itself? haha.
Anyways. I neeeeeeeeeeed to choose. As in, choose NOW.
NOW. Now. Now. Now. As in, Now.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. tomorrow is the day.
and I wanna be sure about it. Please, guide me. I hope I'll choose the right one.