Here i go again.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I dont know. I keep typing, then erase. type, then erase. There's so much to say but i dont know how to start. I feel like, i wanna shout but i cant. I wanna cry but i ran out of tears. I wanna laugh but i dont have the reason to. I wanna be free from this hurt but i dont know how to.
What happened to me? It's 5 days since i wrote something in my blog. Well, i took a rest. Think about things that i should think. If it's A or b? If i need to sttle things down. If i need to go with the reality. I made some thinking.
Here i go again. My heart beats fast like it will explode. I sweat a lot like there is someone chasing, ah! yah. It's reality again. Chasing me around, but i keep on running away from it. But running away from it will hurt me more? I guess, that's why Im trying to grab it and understand it. Im trying, Yes. I AM.
You mad? Hm. Irritated i know, but why? Yet, you didn't say why and it hurts even more. I wanna know. Im dying to know, but I dont want to irritate you again. I'm sorry.
See? How hard it is? I dont know. It's hard for me and I want to end this but i cant. HELP ME? Please. I still have one more term to fix these. One more term. I'll go what Lor said, Wait. Yah, i'll wait but tell me when to stop and let's do everything for the last time.
I wanna be happy. That's all.
what if, happiness means letting you go? would i still want to be happy?