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Teenage Scar

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Friday, November 28, 2008

"The habit of thinking someone can lead either of two serious consequences. The first one is, Intense addiction with paranoia or falling inlove"

Now i know but I'm not sure, am i really falling inlove?

How's my day? Uhm, it was pretty boring and very early to finish. I went home at around 5 and it's very unsual for me. I always go home at around 7 or 8 because i still hang out with my fins but a while ago it was suprisingly different. I was expecting to end the day so happy but I was wrong. Vince has a Dance practice, Cara will meet her bestfriend and have a party and Joanna will bring Ralph to their house to meet her parents and have a party also. What about me? Ugh, bummer. I went home early and my parents were shocked but happy because im home for dinner. Actually, we just finished eating our dinner. Yummy steak and mashed potatoes! :)

My day wasn't that fun. Im gloomy but I didn't let my fins see it. I still laughed with them especially when we were riding the pedicab, i still enjoyed the photo sessions and most of all i still answered my Algeb Quiz eventhough my mind is not really focused on it. Yes, he's still clouding up my mind. From the first day I met him he didn't left my mind. Every second of the day, he's on my frikking mind. From the moment i woke up till i close my eyes he's still on my mind. is this obssesion? or love? if it's either the two, then why???

I've met him only for a couple of days but it seems like I know him for a long time. We talked, but not we totally dont have any communication. I should be on stage of forgetting him because we dont talke anymore, but it makes me think of him even more. Aaaah, what have he done to me? I'm not usually like this. When I have a crush, I only have a crush. Just a crush. But right now? It's totally different, WAAAAAAAY DIFFERENT. What's the matter Niqui?

I write poems on my paper, Smile whenever something makes me remember of him, make heart doodles on my notes. I even write his whole name in my notebook, ohmy this is ridiculous. This is not me, is this what you call crush? Having his initials on my hand, my paper, on my notebook. Having those day dreams being with him. Looking at him from a distance or even walking through a building which is soooooo far from my room hoping that our path will cross somehow. Please, dont get me wrong. This is not obssesion, I just.

I dont know.

Let love do the rest. Let the emotions take cover. After all, it's just emotions taking me over.