Im doing exactly what I did last 4 months ago.
I cant explain why, and i thought i was over it. I was wrong and now I dont know what to do. Please, teach me how you do those stuffs. Being cool and changing cards every now and then. I can see that everything's doing well with you. You come and go and before I knew it, it's not only me who's feeling this way.
I dont know what to say, and I dont want to think that Im really sure of what Im feeling. I dont know If I'm really still the old person whom you walked away. I dont know if this heart is still beating the same way. I dont know if I should still feel this way.
After all, 1 month is very enough for you, but for me it took several months to pay and Im still not sure if im done with it. Yeah, call me stupid for staying like this. I dont know, but I stay inlove with you.
.. please, i want to escape from this.
"Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing. "
I never thought of waiting for someone who just blew me off. I've waited for about 4 hours and still he didn't show up. I remember the time when I cant sleep alone because its really raining hard, those dark moments of my life was suddenly reapeated last night when I was in that room. It was already dark outside but still I waited for him. I tried to contact but a little "SORRY" was the only thing that I recieved.
Suddenly, I got up. Fixed my things and went outside the room. The wind blew hard on my face and wiped my tears. I remember the first time I saw him, the first time he smiled and talked to me it was the same floor, same room and same time but different him. I remember exactle what he told me and it almost turned me into a large apple because my face turned red. Oh, those days that reminds me why I love him so much. I can call it a Love at first sight. When I catched the elevator, I saw one of my friends and asked me. "OH? Are you crying?" Then I said, "No, I just feel like sleeping na." The typical palusot ever.
I reached the ground floor. Still no sign of him, still no text from him. Then I suddenly saw my reflection through those glass windows, then I saw a girl who looks stupid for waiting for someone whom I know from the start will blew me off. I didn't give up, that's all. I had hope and that hope turned me to someone who I felt sorry for.
Why did I waited for you? SHIT. Maybe because you said you love me eventhough I know you didn't mean it. Here comes the "HOPE" part. Why do you ask me to look at your face and tell that you love me if i know from the start you have this someone whom you really love? Why say I love you if you really didn't mean it? Why say you care if you just left me behind waiting for you all night long? Why say you wouldn't leave me but from the start you left me hanging by myself? Why say i love you in the first place? :l
All of these are Major crap. Now, I hate you for real. I'll try not to talk to you during classes nor look at you. If I can, then I will. You just broke the other half of my heart because months ago you broke the other half. Now you broke the whole thing, let me ask you one thing.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
Even Bestfriends can't share the same wedding day.
A clerical error tests the lifelong friendship of two brides-to-be by scheduling their respective weddings at the famed Plaza Hotel on the exact same date in this romantic comedy starring Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson. Ever since they were little girls, Liv and Emma have bonded over planning their weddings down to the very last detail. Now, both in their mid-twenties, Liv and Emma have each found the men they want to spend the rest of their lives with. But while most of the details regarding their respective weddings don't overlap, the one thing that both Liv and Emma have always dreamt of is holding their ceremony at the legendary Plaza Hotel -- New Your City's ultimate bridal destination. Unfortunately, a simple clerical error has scheduled both of their weddings on the exact same date, at the exact same place. As a high-powered lawyer who's used to getting her way, Liv simply isn't willing to settle for anything less than perfection. And though simple schoolteacher Emma has always placed the needs of others above her own, the prospect of making any sacrifices on her big day brings out her inner bridezilla in ways that shock her unsuspecting friends and family. There was a time when Liv and Emma would have done anything for each other, but now that the two best friends are at odds over who will get their dream wedding and who will have to settle for second best, the lacy gloves are off and it's all-out war.
HAHA. It's a very romantic/comedy movie. I enjoyed watching it and I even became detailed about it. Yes, i love the movie. Better watch it guys!
How's my training? So far so gooooood! :) Im loving training days. Nasisipag na ako para sa Team Singapore and Team Kuwait. My goal for this year is to have an International Competition and Im doing my best to achieve that Goal of mine.
How am i feeling right now? Hmm. I cant explain it. I feel depressed, guilty and kinda pissed with some people who is still bugging my frikking quiet life. I just cant blame people to be them but sometimes, I ask myself "What's with me that they always think that everythings about them?" Hayy. People. People. People. I dont get them. Anyways, I'll just focus on some things like my Homeworks, upcoming reports and my own life. One thing, I miss highschool. Less stress.
Here I go again. Confused.
You're here again. Seating next to me. Being sweet and whatsoever.
are you here to make me happy? or you're here because you're not yet done breaking my heart.
Why is fate putting us together again?
Of all people, why you?
I thought I've moved on already but I'm wrong. I tried not to talk to you but I cant.
I tried to slip away but my heart is pulling me back. I tried to glance but I end up staring at you.
I tried to forget you but you're always occupying my frikking mind.
How am i suppose to be happy when you're not with me?
You dont have any idea that I feel this weird being with you.
am I crazy or falling inlove? is it really just another crush?
I try and try to walk away, but i know this crush ain't going no where :l
You can call my schedule the worst schedule ever but i dont care. Suprisingly, Im enjoying. Im not really the type of person who wakes up early just to attend the most boring class. Screw them, I'll not waste my time and infact I cant wake up early. Im not a morning person, in short.
So usually my class starts at 4 and ends in 9 pm. Long day? ugh. yes. Tiring? not that much. ENJOY? Superrr! There were lots of unexpected things that is happening for the past day. It's been a week since my 3rd term started and hell yeah, Im enjoying it a lot. I have 20 units and I took up some advance classes in my Design Foundation subjects since i ran out of slots for some of my subjects because I was a late enrollee. (Screw Gabo!) hahaha.
PROFES1 -(TH 6:00-9:00pm) Advance class. I'm the youngest and Im loving it. All of my classmates are already sophomore student and Im the only Frosh student in the class. Good thing I made new friends. This class is a very very long class. 3 hours and it's my last subject.
INSOCIO - (TTH 1:00-2:30) My class reminds me of my Highschool class. There were lots of funny students and cool people. Im starting to love it and i have two new friends. There's Pin and Resah.
FILIP13 - (TTH 4:20-5:50) My favorite class so far. Lots of unexpected people were there especially him. So happy! It really surprised me yesterday. It was awesome. Our teacher is funny/wild and somehow a "palengkera" type when it comes to talking and telling jokes and one more thing, she looks like POKWANG! Promise.
WORLITE - (MWF 3:40-4:40) Boring? I dont know. tama lang. I made two new friends. It's Hash and Danica. We're noisy sometimes because we really jive on each other especially when my mouth couldn't stop from telling jokes and observe a lot of things! :))
PHILOMA (MW 6:00-7:30) I have class in AKIC and yes, outcast ako. Everybody wears a coat and a tie or a skirt and a blouse. In short, they wear what earl wears. It's the frikking corporate attire. Im a pariah whenever I go to that building. I always wear the kind of trend where SDA people are more suited with it. a normal jeans and a shirt plus my colorful zoo york and Im done. haha. When it comes to the subject, It's still pretty confusing for me.
JOSERIZ (MW 7:45-9:15) After running from AKIC to Main Campus, I'll be having one of the boring class. For me, it's not really boring because I really love studying things about the past. I love history. haha.
ILOVEMYSUBJECTS. Especially Filip13. Oh my god, here I go again.
Tomorrow, I'll be having my Filip13. Exciting. I'll got the chance to see him again. Yesss! :)
Goodnight World. Till tomorrow. Spread the word. Im back! <3
YOW! Oh yes, I'm back from my Hiatus.
It's been almost a month since I last wrote an entry and it's about my Hiatus. Last term was a very stressing term for me. There were lots of things to pass and deadlines to meet. Whew, good thing it's done and Im now facing a new step in my life. Yes! HELLO 2009! New life, promise.
So, how's my holiday? It was the BEST Holiday so far. Eventhough we just celebrated our Christmas and New Year in our house we still enjoyed it. There were lots of foods, games and competition. HEP HEP HOOORAAY! was the most bentang game this year. For me, I did welcome 2009 with an open heart and I definitely started it right.
New stuffs about me? IM BACK TO BOWLING! Yes, you read it right. I'm active right now. I go to trainings every Saturday and Sunday and I'm staying @ Lara's House every weekend. I'm trying by best to achieve my goal for this year and my goal is to have an International Open. So, we'll be having our scoring (qualifying round) starting this Saturday for the TEAM SINGAPORE AND TEAM KUWAIT. I'm so excited, after a year of stop bowling I just cant hide the feeling of being excited every training.
Another thing that I'm paying a lot of attention right now, except in my bowling career. I'm still focusing on my studies. Yes, I'm aiming for my goal to be a Dean's lister. I spent my free time at the Library just to review for my next class. Eeeew, am I being the new geek here? I hope not. I'm enjoying my 3rd term so much and Im meeting a lot of NEW FRIENDS! So lovely.
My new year's resolution? Here it goes.
- TO BE EXTRA GOOD - Yes, I'll be good with my parents especially with my Dad. I'll try to understand him more and I'll less the arguements with him. I'll try to Shut up as much as possible.
- DEAN LIST - Yes, I'm trying to. This term. If not, grades no lower than 2.5 will do and it's still Dean's list! hahaha.
- TRAIN MORE - Promise, I wont be the lazy kid like before. I'll train more and pay more attention during trainings. Tiyaga ang kailangan! :)
- BE MORE RESPONSIBLE - Last year, I lost a couple of wallets and I lost my Itouch & 3 ID'S. I've been the most Irresponsible girl last year and I fully admit it. Promise this year I'll be more careful with my stuffs.
- CAREFUL WITH MY HEART - There were lots of guy who broke my heart. I think I'm gonna rest right now and focus on the things that is really important. I dont know how far will I go but I hope this year wouldn't be a bad luck for me when it comes to heart situations.
- HAVE FUN - Despite of the Goals and so many things that I want to happen, I'll promise myself that while Im doing those things Im also having fun and enjoying it! <3
Those were my New Year's Resolution for this year. As far as I know, Im doing well in my school and Im training hard. Im being more organize this time and I haven't lost anything so I think it's a good start. another thing that I want to attain is to loose weight! haha. I dont know, but I feel big. When I ask my friends, they say nothing changed. I look good, not really fat but i feel fat. hahaha. I dont know, I just want to loose pounds! :)
2009, here I come.